


The Very Precise Science of Mending a Lonely Heart

by pepperfield



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Humanstuck, Magic, Minor Violence, Off-screen Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-09
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 22:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/753950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperfield/pseuds/pepperfield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A heartbroken boy and an amnesiac ghost solve a murder mystery, make some friends, take a journey to the center of the mind, and find a close approximation to love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Very Precise Science of Mending a Lonely Heart

The sand on Diamond Point is heather gray and cold as bones. It's gritty and grinds deep into the shallow cuts on the soles of Eridan's feet, but he can't bring himself to leave. Each stinging twinge is a memory of the day he trawled through the wash, letting broken shells scratch misery into his skin. Lying with his arms outstretched, under the bleak October sky, he watches the horizon. Nothing ever crosses it, nothing ever has, and doubtless ever will. There's another thing Feferi was wrong about.  
  
If he stares into the water for long enough, he can see her hair, long tendrils rising up through the deep to swirl on the surface, or her eyes, frozen and empty as the night he lost her to the ocean. Were he less of a coward, he would walk into the water to join her phantom, let her pull him down, down, down, to where the sunlight is only a dream. Let her breathe salt into his lungs, laugh bubbles into his bloodstream.  
  
"You'll catch a cold if you stay out too long."  
  
With a start, he scrambles up. The reprimand in her tone, the smile curling around her words...  
  
"Fef?"  
  
But no. There's a girl in a tattered dress perched on a rock several feet away, thick brambles of hair tumbling down her shoulders. She's dark and translucent all at once, blurred at the edges as if his eyes aren't quite in focus. When she stands, her feet don't hit the ground. She floats slowly over to him, her gray skirt fluttering around her.  
  
Eridan realizes that he's actually too sober to understand what's going on right now.  
  
"And who the fuck are you?"  
  
She doesn't answer right away, looking over her hands and down at her dress. "I guess I'm a ghost," she finally tells him.  
  
"Seriously? A fuckin' ghost, an' you couldn't a had the common decency to at least be  _my_ ghost?"  
  
The girl's red smeared lips twitch into an almost-smile. "Sorry. I don't really have a handle on being my own ghost so far. I think being someone else's might be beyond my capabilities." Her voice is clear and hollow, ringing like the delicate notes of a music box. She tucks her legs down and hovers in sitting position next to him. Eridan fights the urge to scurry away from the first person he's really talked to since the funeral. First ghost, rather. Wait.  
  
"I guess I could find it in myself to forgive you, seeing as you're dead and all. But, uh, you wouldn't happen to have seen another dead girl hangin' around, have you?" As a man of science, he's not ready to jump on the "ghosts exist" train yet, but he's also not going to let this seed of hope slip by.  
  
"No, I think I'm the only one here."  
  
"You absolutely sure? Nobody else?"  
  
"No."  
  
Of course. His laugh is bitter, and he pulls off his glasses to scrub at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. Of course Fef wouldn't stick around, even in death.  
  
"That just figures, doesn't it? It's a tough world, ghost girl. Life is hard, everybody sucks, not least of all myself, and my dead fucking fiancée has no problems movin' on to better things. Betta things. Fuck."  
  
He collapses back onto the beach, the world distant and unclear without his glasses on. The ghost girl gradually floats over him, barely a foot above, her hair unfurling like a curtain around them both, shielding him from the desolate white sky.  
  
"I haven't moved on," she murmurs, head tilted ever so slightly.  
  
Eridan reaches out, brushing his fingertips through a lock of dark hair. He shivers at the chill that follows. Probably a ghost, then. Empirical evidence and all. "Yeah? Well, that makes two of us suckers then," he croaks. "Eridan Ampora, miserable fuckin' wretch."  
  
She pulls back and he sits up to follow her. "My name is Aradia. No one else has noticed me before." She tries to shake his hand, but she passes right through it. Another frisson of ice runs down his wrist.  
  
"That's pretty sad, cause I'm hardly fit to be noticin' anyone in my state." She nods, and he sighs. It figures that the only one to understand him would be some dead broad. He puts his glasses back on to look at his new acquaintance, this wandering spirit made up of about as much substance as he feels like he has in his heart.  
  
"Ar, what the fuck are we doing on this shithole beach? How'd we end up like this? How did you even die?"  
  
Aradia turns away and stares down the shoreline. "I don't know." There's nothing to see but the languid break of the cresting waves.  
  
"I don't know, but I intend to find out."  
  
\--  
  
Aradia follows Eridan home that night.  
  
"I don't mind staying outside, but I think I want to explore," she tells him. He's not really in a place to be accepting visitors, but neither does he want to let human contact out of his sight, surreal as it is. So they trek back from the beach, along the worn gravel path, winding up into his house. He had wanted something bigger, a mansion fit for the family he and Feferi were going to have, but she had seen the seaside cottage with its odd balcony and little windows and fallen in love. Too goddamn bad she wasn't the one left to enjoy it alone.  
  
As he scrabbles around in his pockets for the keys, Aradia glides right through the wall. He gapes for a second, before letting himself in. "You forgot how to wait for an invitation, or what?"  
  
She stops inspecting his stupid magic kit to blink at him. "Oh. Sorry. I don't really remember these kinds of things anymore. There's a lot of other stuff to think about." She floats deeper into the living room, pausing to examine a picture of him and Feferi over the mantle.  
  
Eridan snorts. "Like what? You don't even remember much besides your name. And get your grubby fingers offa that."  
  
"But that's what makes it interesting. I could be anyone."  
  
"Yeah, sure, but the chances a you bein' anyone worth bein' is low."  
  
Aradia scowls and tries to kick him, but it just makes him cold. "You're terrible. And your accent is dumb. Your hair is dumb, too."  
  
Eridan squawks and clutches at his head indignantly. "Excuse you, that's an awful lotta nerve comin' from a girl wearing a hobo's dishrag."  
  
"Whatever, Mr. Skunk Stripe! Maybe my dress looks this way because of how I died!" She hovers up over him, poking at his purple streak.  
  
"Well, maybe you should've picked a better way to do it!"  
  
Aradia flinches. "I think I'd rather be alone than stuck with a jerk like you." She phases through the fireplace, back outdoors.  
  
Shit. Now he feels kind of bad. With a groan he stops for a minute to just gather his wits. Just because he's angry doesn't mean he should take it out on his new companion. Objectively speaking, her life (or death) has got to be worse than his, and it's not fair to monopolize all the self-pity.  
  
Stepping outside, he jogs after her retreating form. "Hey, hey Ar, stop. Get your ghost ass back here."  
  
She spins to face him, still glaring.  
  
God, it feels like ages since he's had to apologize to a girl. "Look, that was shitty of me and I'm sorry. I haven't...no one's been around since Fef died. I haven't got used to conversin' with other people again."  
  
With a sigh, she floats over to his side. "I'd forgotten what being alive was like. Knowing that you could see me, that you knew I existed...I think I got overexcited. Sorry."  
  
Neither of them are winning any awards for social interaction any time soon. "Come back inside. Just have some common courtesy, okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Subdued, they reenter the cottage and Eridan brushes the sand off his clothes onto the floor. He used to give Feferi a hard time for doing the same thing, but without her around he has no drive to clean it up. The whole house has lost its luster: dust gathers in corners where Fef used to hide her cuttlefish plushes, fur remains on surfaces from the strays that used to wander through. The gauzy curtains on the window are always drawn now and Eridan's left his books scattered in the spaces she used to love most, to fill the void. Aradia follows him into the kitchen, where he pauses in front of the refrigerator.  
  
"Okay, I'm goin' to heat some leftovers so why don't you tell me whatever memories a your life you can dig up, while I eat?" he suggests as a peace offering. He's been dwelling on his own story for so long that he's almost become detached from it, like he's watched a grainy old black and white film one too many times. Maybe hearing about someone else's crappy life will bring a new outlook to his own, though he doubts it.  
  
Aradia nods and seats herself over the dining room table while he fishes around in the fridge and tosses some old stew in the microwave. He burns his fingers slightly when he picks up his bowl but sucks it up and drags a chair over to her.  
  
"Alright, Ar. Hit me. What do we know?"  
  
"I was murdered."  
  
Eridan starts coughing up soup. Aradia, as expected, phases through him when she goes to smack him on the back. "Holy shit, are you serious? You're not just bs'ing me, are you?" he splutters out.  
  
She shrugs. "Okay, it might not be murder. But there were definitely other people involved. I don't know who they are, though."  
  
"Man, the presence of other people at your untimely demise doesn't justify outright accusations a murder bein' slung about, alright? But I suppose we can take that into account. Means there's witnesses out there we can lay the squeeze on. Wonderin' if we oughta be writin' this all down somewhere."  
  
"That might be wise."  
  
"Let me finish this soup first. What else? Where'd it happen?"  
  
Aradia leans back as she thinks, eventually doing a full back somersault through the table. "I don't remember," she says from besides his feet.  
  
"That's helpful. What about the timeframe? Whenabouts did you leave your earthly body behind?"  
  
"I. I'm not sure," and for some reason she sounds irrationally annoyed by this. There's a furrow in her brow as she rises back up through the table. "I know it was a around a week ago, but I don't know precisely when."  
  
"That's better than nothing. This town isn't that huge, and I don't think that many people are gettin' murdered out here. We can go into town tomorrow and check the papers; if you really did die just a few days ago it's probably still makin' the news."  
  
"Newspapers? You don't have a computer?" She flies into the living room to take a look around, but there's nothing but books.  
  
"Um, that might be on account a me throwin' it into the sea." He sheepishly follows her and points out his now pointless laptop charger.  
  
"Wow. Sorry, but that's kind of stupid."  
  
"You think I don't know that? I was angry, okay? Dyin's one thing, but losing the person you care about most is something you have to learn to live with, and some days I just can't even do that. I wouldn't expect the likes a you to understand."  
  
Aradia looks at him with a hint of pity and waves her hand in and out of his shoulder as a sort of chilly gesture of comfort. "It's okay. Sometimes I want to break things too. And..."  
  
She trails off, and her eyes lose focus, looking through him. "...I think maybe I might understand better than you think." Her voice seems more solid, filled with a melancholy warmth he'd never heard from her.  
  
Eridan raises an eyebrow. "Did you remember something else? Hold on, let me grab a pencil or something." He goes to the dresser by the front door and pulls the second drawer open, pushing fishfood pellets and bangles aside until he finds a pen. Grabbing a sheet off the memo pad on top of the dresser, he goes back to the dining room table and scrawls down  **known facts** , followed with  **a** **radia** , then begins another column labeled  **possible clues** , with  **murder???** , **one to two week timeframe** , and  **witnesses**.  
  
With that done, he turns back to her. "I'm goin' to assume that you're competent enough to get your own name right, so that's one thing to start with. What was that you were sayin' before?"  
  
Aradia's floated over to examine his work, but she shakes her head. "No, I got a sudden feeling but I didn't remember anything concrete. I just  _felt_  for a second, more than usual. But it's nothing."  
  
"It's not nothing, Ar. We got to keep track of everything or we might miss a crucial hint," he says. "What sort a feeling was this?"  
  
She hesitates, before saying quietly, "I can't be sure, but there's a good probability it was love?"  
  
Well then. Eridan stops at that, and looks at her, at this dead girl floating in his empty house. A girl who once loved, who once smiled and talked and touched, and who's been reduced to a shadow only he can see. He suddenly understands the crushing sense of responsibility of being her only connection to the world. Her only hope. If he'd made the choice to stay home today, or she hadn't spoken to him, or any other million tiny different paths had been taken, she might have remained alone, forever unseen, unheard, forgotten.  
  
And on a different day, perhaps, this responsibility would have frightened him. The overwhelming surge of helplessness would have won out over his better instincts and he would have cowered away, retreating back to his sanctuary. But today is not that day. Today, Eridan Ampora is sick and tired of being alone and confused and lonely, so he's going to help Aradia free herself from the same state and hopefully pull himself out of it along the way. And when Eridan Ampora makes up his mind, he follows through, coddammit.  
  
He grimaces a little at his internal fish pun, but feels a little lighter somehow. Fef always did have a way of making that happen.  
  
"Ar, love's like the single most important fuckin' feeling there could possibly be. Only in contention with hate, maybe. In any case, it's goin' on the list." He marks down  **love** in large letters under the second column, followed by a smaller  **lover? family?**  
  
She watches him silently until he stops to admires their work. He looks triumphant, despite the dark spots under his eyes and the tired lines etched into his face, and she gets another rush of feeling. It's less intense than earlier, just a wave of fondness sharpened with a spike of pity for this young man heartbroken enough to spend hours watching the sea, waiting perhaps to wake from a nightmare or be taken away by the current. He begins to outline a plan for tomorrow and she passes her hand through his head to catch his attention.  
  
"Dammit, Ar, you got to stop doin' that. A guy might catch pneumonia, you know," he snaps at her.  
  
"I don't think pneumonia works like that," she responds and he huffs. "But that's not what I wanted to say. Eridan. Thanks. Thanks for listening and caring and going to the trouble of doing all this to help me."  
  
He looks perplexed. "Well, it's the decent thing to do. What kind a guy would I be if I just let you wander around for the rest of eternity, not knowin' how the hell you died?"  
  
"A jerk. But still, thanks for not being that guy. It means a lot to me." And, with some amount of effort, Aradia manages her first smile as a ghost.  
  
Eridan flushes at the compliment and then stares, because although the smile looks out of place, it also seems right. Like Aradia's gaining back some of her life. So he smiles back as best as he can, for the first time since Feferi's death.  
  
"We're goin' to figure this thing out, Ar. The two of us. And then we'll wreak holy vengeance on whoever had the guts to take you out," he swears. He hasn't gotten this invested in anything in a long time, but now that he has, he's going to do it right.  
  
Aradia's smile widens. "We'll make them pay."  
  
\--  
  
 _The last time you checked the clock, it was only 8 pm, but somehow in the span of twenty minutes it's suddenly become 3:18 am? No, scratch that, only 3:13. With a sigh you remove your glasses and lay your head down on the table, just for a short rest. Then you'll get back to work.  
  
A brush of her warm fingers to the side of your face rouses you. Your eyes flutter open and there she is, crouched down to meet your eyes.  
  
"You're silly. Come sleep. You can finish doing this later." She tugs your arm free from under your head. It tingles violently with pins and needles and you make a garbled noise of protest.  
  
"No, you don't-"  
  
"Nope! No objections, mister. C'mon, now." She stands and pulls you up with her, half carrying your thin body over to your bedroom. "You'll thank me later for this."_  
  
 _She's probably right. She usually is._  
  
\--  
  
Eridan wakes to the sight of Aradia reading a book he left open on his chair. He almost falls off the bed but manages to clutch to his sheets for safety.  
  
"Didn't we already have this conversation? Stop snooping around!"  
  
"But I was bored. And I already read all the open books you left downstairs. Besides, isn't it time to get up?"  
  
"Yeah, probably, so get outta my room. I don't need a dead girl admirin' the goods while I'm changin'. I mean, don't think I'm not flattered an' all, but I don't think our relationship's progressed to the stage where-"  
  
"Shut up, shut up, I'm leaving," she interrupts, and sticks her tongue out at him while descending through the floor.  
  
When she's completely gone, he falls back into his pillow and closes his eyes and tries to recapture his dream about Feferi, but it's dispersed into the air. So he hefts himself out of bed, puts on his glasses, and tries to find something fit for wearing outside in public. Feferi used to tease that it took longer for him to get ready for the day than it did for her to deal with all her hair, so once in a while he would brush and braid it for her while she picked out his clothes. These days he just throws something weather-appropriate on and slips on his engagement ring, the only piece of jewelry he wears anymore.  
  
After he's brushed his teeth and grabbed a scarf, Eridan heads downstairs. He can see Aradia through the window on the staircase, and she's trying unsuccessfully to dig up a rock in his front yard. She seems impatient so he decides he'll forego breakfast and get on with their quest, lest she begin bothering him again. He can always buy something in town. Taking the list from the table where he left it last night, he folds it neatly and slips it into pocket, along with the pen and then goes and gets his bike from the storage room and wheels it out the back door.  
  
Aradia looks up from her non-gardening.  
  
"Oh, are we going on that?"  
  
"Well, I'm goin' on this, an' I guess you can just kind of float along next to me. Stay close. I don't need you wanderin' off to god knows where. I'll look like a lunatic if I try to call for you."  
  
"Fine, fine. Let's go!" she says, with a surprising amount of enthusiasm. Huh.  
  
So Eridan fixes on his helmet, even though it messes up his hair, and pedals down the path. It's been about a week since he's gone into town, so he figures he can get some errands done while asking around. As they draw nearer to civilization, the wind dies down and the road widens; Aradia zooms ahead of him to check out the sights and even Eridan has to admit that enjoys the burn in his legs from the physical exercise and the rush of air against his body. The first building they see is, obviously, Ms. Paint's pretty little house, done up in nice pastel shades. Many a tourist photograph is taken here, framing her home against the backdrop of the seabound path, the ocean rolled out til it meets the pale line of the sky. Once past that spot, the town opens up into a main road ribboned with secret paths and quaintly named streets, each leading to a cluster of shops. Aradia whirls around and around, trying to peek down each street, but Eridan charges forward, down deeper into the less touristy part of town. On the way, they pass a prim looking young woman, who waves in surprise - Eridan salutes her and Aradia tries to grab her hand, but they barrel past. Finally, he slows for a left turn down Whelk Road and pulls to a stop outside  _The Claw and Arrow_.  
  
"What's this? Where are we?" Aradia asks, floating up to trace the lovely woodwork on the shop's sign.  
  
"Local butcher and dairy. You might not need food anymore, but a guy like me needs to get his sustenance somewhere. We'll go to the greengrocer's next. Now, when we're inside, don't go spoutin' your mouth off, 'cause I won't talk back."  
  
When they push open the door, the attached bell jingles, and the girl at the counter looks up with sharp eyes. Then she gasps.  
  
"Mr. Ampurra! It's been so long! We haven't seen you in months, not since...no, sorry, never mind. What can I get for you?"  
  
"You don't eat fish?" Aradia whispers as she bends down to examine the deli case. "You look like you'd eat a lot of seafood." He ignores her.  
  
"Hey, Nep. I'll take two pork chops, eight of those sausages, you know the ones, and uh, a quarter pound of roast beef," Eridan mumbles out, not meeting her eyes. He doesn't have anything against Nepeta, but she'd been close to Feferi, and it's always hardest to deal with those kinds of people. While Nepeta's gathering his order, he walks to the dairy case to see what Aradia's looking at so intensely.  
  
"Look at all this. I wish I could remember what these cheeses tasted like."  
  
"They're pretty okay. Eq knows how to pick 'em. The milk here's the best. Also, of course I fuckin' eat fish. But if I can catch it myself, what's the point in buyin' it?" he hisses, snatching up a gallon of milk. Hopefully Nepeta won't hear him. The town already has a certain opinion of him; it'd take the cake if they thought he was losing his grip on reality too.  
  
"I suppose that makes sense. Are you going to buy yogurt? What does this taste like?"  
  
"No, and it tastes fine."  
  
"Descriptive."  
  
"It tastes like fuckin' yogurt! What, you want I should write you a soliloquy about dairy?"  
  
"You should get this one." Aradia points to a small tub of homemade ice cream in the freezer. "I bet it matches your hair."  
  
"Hey, leave the hair alone! And fine, I'll get some, just shut up." Eq's blackberry swirl  _is_  pretty delicious, so he reaches in and grabs a tub for some future ice cream therapy. Up at the counter, Nepeta finishes wrapping things up, and offers him a lopsided smile when she sees the item in his hands.  
  
"Good choice. Do you, um, want a bag for everything?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks." She bags everything up, and he hands over the cash. She looks like she wants to say something, but they remain silent for the rest of the transaction. This is what he hates the most: this suffocating sense of quiet and despair that he carries around on him like a heavy cape. Eridan knows it's in part his own fault, that if he chose to interact with people, and leave the house once in a while that maybe it would dissipate. But looking all these people in the eye, people he and Fef grew up around, who used to see them together all the time, who were going to attend their fucking wedding - he can't meet the gaze of someone who knows his other half is missing. And it doesn't help that they all treat him like glass since Fef died; it just constantly reminds him that she's gone. He wants Nepeta to lash out at him with some quick remark; he wants to see her roll her eyes at his behavior and to flash him that wry smirk, but she can see his self-imposed bubble of isolation, and like everyone else, she doesn't think she has the right to pop it.  
  
So he says his goodbyes and walks out slowly, waiting for Aradia, who was snooping in the back, to join him. As he opens the door, Nepeta calls out.  
  
"Hey! Eridan. It's...it's good to see you around. You should come back next week; Equius is testing new ice cream flavors, and your skinny butt looks like it could use some fattening up. So...please think about it, okay?"  
  
There's a little bit of that old sass in her voice, and things almost feel normal for a minute, so he turns back to look her in the eye. "Only if you keep your dirty paws outta the cream. I better not find one of your hairs in there."  
  
"Ugh, gross! That's never happened, you doof. Get out of my shop," Nepeta replies, sticking her tongue out, and Eridan almost responds in kind, so he hurries out before he sinks to her level.  
  
Aradia comes out as he's packing his purchases into the icebox in his bike basket. While he's pedaling away, he can see from the corner of his eye Equius' large form looking out at him from the window as Nepeta gestures, but he keeps his head straight, and leaves for the main street. He bikes much slower than before, weaving around pedestrians, and Aradia flies backwards alongside him, her head quirked slightly in a question.  
  
"Your heartbeat seems quicker even though you're exerting less energy. Are you okay?" she asks, as she passes through some unsuspecting tourists, who shiver at the burst of cold.  
  
Eridan tightens his grip on the handlebars and tries to calm down. Even trading a few words with Nep required more emotional energy than he's been used to using recently. He's a little stressed.  
  
"After Fef, I haven't really been much up to talkin'," he admits. "Sometimes I just kinda point at stuff and get the hell out before people try an' engage me, but I guess since you've been around, I'm startin' to warm up to it again."  
  
Aradia seems to glow a little brighter suddenly. "That's good, isn't it? I'm proud of you."  
  
That's not a sentiment he hears very often. "Uh. Thanks?" he stutters out. Aradia nods back at him, and he blushes a little.  
  
A few blocks away is Fef's favorite grocery store. John, the owner's grandson, is wheeling in some crates filled with root vegetables when they arrive. He stops to wait for Eridan to lock his bike up and follow him in. Aradia's already dashed on ahead.  
  
"Hey. We just got some beets that Jade says are, and I quote, 'scrumptious'. The oranges are really juicy, too. How'd your ratatouille go? Was it good?" John tends to chatter at Eridan, despite knowing he won't really respond, and in exchange, Eridan usually takes his advice on the produce. It's a good working relationship, so of course he fucks it up by talking.  
  
"Yeah, wasn't too bad. Little on the mushy side, maybe, but that's no fault a the vegetables. I got to pay more attention next time," he says without thinking, and then his just-slowed heart rate instantly jumps back up again when John and his sister simultaneously gasp.  
  
"Oh my god! He speaks!" Jade shouts from behind the register.  
  
"Turn it down, witch, I don't need you bustin' my eardrums," he snaps back, and she claps like a lunatic.  
  
"You know, I didn't think I'd miss your voice and goofy accent, but it's actually kind of nice to hear. Hehehe, who'd've realized, huh?"  
  
"I really can't same the same about you. Oof!" Eridan lurches forward when John swings an arm around him for a quick side hug.  
  
"Sorry, dude! It's just good to see you breaking out of your gloom. Anyway, we'll let you get to your shopping. Call for one of us if you need anything, okay?" John gives him that blinding grin, and wheels away. Eridan grabs a basket and scurries off to find Aradia before he starts yammering like an idiot again. Fuckin' hell.  
  
Aradia's in the far corner of the shop, doing roundhouse kicks in the candy aisle. He sidles up in time to see her foot fly through some peanut butter cups.  
  
"No, we're not getting any chocolate. Deal with it."  
  
"I wasn't going to ask. Are they your friends?" she asks pointing in the general direction of the twins.  
  
"Not particularly. They're alright, for a bunch of noisy brats. Jade and Fef used to do some witchy magic claptrap together, but it was all make-believe bullshit."  
  
"You don't believe in magic?"  
  
"No, why the hell would I? I admit, I used to be kinda into it in like a fictional sense, you know, like books and games an' stuff, but I was never like fuckin' Fef, sittin' around an' pretendin' to do spells or whatever. I mean, I loved her, but it was, frankly, a ridiculous hobby."  
  
Aradia circles him once, before flipping over to look at him upside down. "You don't believe in magic, but do you believe in ghosts?"  
  
"Well, that's a different matter entirely! I mean, you're right here before my very eyes, aren't you?" He walks through her, trying to suppress the chill, and starts looking at oranges.  
  
"Yeah, but if no one else can see me, how can you really be sure I exist?"  
  
"Are you tryin' to tell me I might be going insane? Because honestly, at this point, I don't know how much I would even care," he mutters, rolling an orange between his palms. "Crazy old Eridan Ampora's girlfriend died so he made himself an imaginary one. Like anyone would be surprised."  
  
"I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, that just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it's not real. And I don't think I want to be your girlfriend." Aradia points at another orange in the crate; he puts that one in his basket as well.  
  
"Give me some credit, I don't want you to be my fuckin' girlfriend either, you idiot! You think I enjoy only bein' able to properly talk to dead people?! You don't think I want to be normal and have friends again?"  
  
"You look like you're getting better, though. I've seen you talk to three whole people today. Anyway, aren't I your friend?"  
  
"I. You? Just, shit, yeah why the fuck not. We're as good as best pals at this point. Not like either of us have any better prospects."  
  
Aradia gives him the faintest smile, and sort of pats him on the head. "Good. You should get some bananas too. We can make smoothies."  
  
Eridan rolls his eyes, but does as she says. After he's gathered everything, he brings his basket up to Jade, who gives him a smile identical to John's.  
  
"Find everything you need today?" Eridan fights not to cringe; god, she's just so goddamn chipper.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I got what I needed." She nods and begins entering prices into the register.  
  
As Eridan reaches for his wallet to pay, his hand finds the note he put in his pocket this morning, and then he remembers the other reason they came into town.  
  
"Oh, uh, can I get a copy of the paper too? Actually, you don't also have any back copies of the last couple a days, do you?"  
  
Jade grabs today's paper and stuffs it into his bag, before crouching down and rummaging around. "Ummm...let me see...aha! Yep, that's what I thought," she says, emerging victorious, with a small stack of older papers as well. "Sometimes we like to keep them around to do the crosswords. We didn't recycle these yet, so I can give them to you for free if you don't mind them being used!"  
  
"Cool, thanks." They exchange cash for his goods, and he tries to decide whether he should ask Jade directly for any news. He's already started a conversation with her, and he's not even really freaking out this time, so why the hell not. "Say, you wouldn't happen to know about anythin' odd happenin' around here lately, would you? I haven't been around recently, so..."  
  
"Odd? Um, well, I don't know if it's odd, but Rose is back in town for the next few months. And, hmmm, oh! There was a pretty big car accident a week or so, like a few minutes outside of town? There's probably an article in the papers about it. Other than that, not much has been going on."  
  
Huh. That's a promising start. "I'll just read the paper then. Thanks. See you next week. Tell John I said bye."  
  
Outside, Eridan packs all his bags into his bike basket and wheels away to a quieter area before bringing the subject up. "Ar, you heard her, right? This could be it. This might be the clue we were lookin' for."  
  
Aradia nods happily. "I didn't realize it would be this easy! You're a great help so far, Eridan."  
  
"Well, okay, let's not get our hopes up yet. Jade did say 'accident', and we're still thinkin' there could be some foul play goin' on here. Let me buy a sandwich, then we can go home an' take a look."  
  
But even as he says that, he takes a quick glance down at the newspapers in his bag and a smidgen of hope sprouts in his mind. Might things be looking up for once? Aradia's voice brings his attention back to the sidewalk, where his friend looks like she's almost jogging instead of floating. Strange. But a moment later, she's hovering next to him again, and they roll on in companionable silence toward his favorite sandwich shop.  
  
\--  
  
Eridan pulls apart the pages of the newest paper and lays several out flat on the table. "Okay, I'll get this one, and you take that one over there. Tell me if you need a page flipped. Let's go."  
  
"Aye, aye, captain."  
  
They spend the next fifteen minutes scouring the local paper without much luck. Eridan frowns as he turns over the last sheet, which is all about sports scores of the local high school team. "Seriously? Nothing? Why the hell is there an article about the construction on Windmill Road and not a fuckin' accident?"  
  
"I don't know, this thing about the upcoming holidays is kind of interesting."  
  
"Forget it. Let's try this one instead, from yesterday. There has to be somethin' in here."  
  
He flings the paper open and they scan the pages, but still nothing. They continue through the backlog until Aradia's eye catches on a headline from a paper dated back five days ago. "This one! Look, there's a little photo and everything."  
  
 _"Victims of Car Crash Still_ _Unidentified_? Blah blah car crash off of East Willow Street, blah blah neither victim was carrying identification, etc...ah, look, female driver was killed in the crash, while her male companion remains in the hospital, recovering from severe injuries. It's pretty short, but man, I think we hit the jackpot, Ar! Doesn't much sound like murder, though."  
  
"Well, look, it says there was someone else there with me. Maybe he tried to hurt me or something and I drove us off the road."  
  
"In any case, this is good. Your buddy there, I bet if we get him to talk, we'd learn a lot more about what happened. But before we jump the gun, we should make sure this girl is even you. Let's see, if you crashed off Willow, then you were probably drivin' in from Quartz River, so your body's probably still there, waitin' on someone to identify it. This town's too cozy for its own morgue, and even our clinic is pretty small, so it's a safe bet this friend/murderer a yours is in the same city. So our best course of action is to head over to Quartz River tomorrow and take a gander at your corpse."  
  
"That sounds great!" Aradia's lit up like the main square during the winter festival, her eyes bright with excitement. Eridan's slightly weirded out, but he can't quite contain his own enthusiasm either. In the last few months, he hadn't been doing much besides loafing around and watching the ocean, and now he's in the thick of their own mini murder mystery. Still, Aradia looks particularly radiant right now, in comparison to her normal dark, cloudy aura, and all this over a small lead.  
  
"Wow, Ar, a little morbid isn't it, to get so excited about what might very well be your own dead body?"  
  
"I don't know about that, maybe, but isn't this cool? Yesterday night I didn't know anything except my name, and here we are, and we might have figured out how I died. That's ludicrously fast progress."  
  
"When you put it that way, it does sound like we're on top of things. We're kinda like those badass old-timey sleuths, just makin' a go of it on our own."  
  
"It's a hard world out there, especially when people aren't willing to talk to us investigators."

"No one to rely on except our own brains an' the evidence. It's too bad you can't physically touch anythin', otherwise I could fetch you one a them old fedoras, and then we'd really be like PI's." He holds his hand up for a high five, and she goes to meet it, even though they both know what will happen. "We got something good goin' on here, Ar. I think this partnership will really take us places. That's enough snoopin' for one day, though. We can update our notes later; right now, it's time for a break. You watch any TV lately?"  
  
"No. I'm too busy being dead."  
  
"Then you gotta see  _Orphaner_ , man. It's a fuckin' historical masterpiece. An' seein' as ghosts don't sleep, you'll have plenty a time to catch up on last season."  
  
Aradia waits patiently on the couch as Eridan pops in a DVD, before nestling in next to her. The nice thing about Eridan, she decides, is that in his presence she can pretend to be a normal, living person, for a time.  
  
\--  
  
 _When you open your eyes, you immediately shrink back as the sunlight floods your vision. Shielding your eyes, you can see her sitting on the picnic blanket, under the shade of a large tree._  
  
 _You take a minute to enjoy a very satisfying stretch before standing up and walking over to her. She smiles as you approach, and laughs when some dandelion fluff falls out of your hair. You flick it at her and she bats it away._  
  
 _"Hey!"_  
  
 _"Hey yourself."  
  
You sit down next to her, taking care not to squash her skirt beneath you. She hands you a peach, ripe under the summer heat, and heavy in your hands._  
  
 _"Did you enjoy your nap?" she asks with a giggle, and you raise an eyebrow in suspicion._  
  
 _"What? Is there something on my face?"_  
  
 _"Well, not on your face so much as it's your face itself. I think you got a little sunburned. You should have put on the sunblock I gave you, stupid!"_  
  
 _Come to think of it, your skin does feel kind of warm and uncomfortable. Dammit. This is why you hate going outside in this season. "Ugh. This sucks."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll help you put on aloe vera later," she promises, leaning on your shoulder and taking your hand. You press a kiss to her hair and think maybe summer's not too bad after all._  
  
\--  
  
Aradia perks up at the rustle of sound she can hear from downstairs. Did Eridan wake? Turning away from the TV, which is playing some episode where the titular Orphaner gets caught up in the schemes of pirates, she waits quietly, and the creak of the bed and gentle pad of footsteps indicate that Eridan's probably gotten up. Soon enough, he comes down the stairs, scarf wrapped tight around his neck, bundled up in a thick sweater and carrying a blanket. He walks toward the front door and she floats after him, leaving the mystery of who would win $500,000 behind, and they head toward the ocean.  
  
Instead of going down to the beach, however, they climb their way up a small shelf of rock to a slight overhang, where Eridan places the blanket down and wraps himself up. Off to their left, in the near distance, the lighthouse is shining; its beacon sweeps across the sea in a pale swath.  
  
Settling down next to Eridan, Aradia studies him. His hair is tousled and eyes lined with the traces of sleep. There's an air of unrest about him. Reaching out, she leaves her hand floating a centimeter or so above his. When he notices, his eyes meet hers and he tries to grasp her hand in his own, but passes right though as expected, which elicits a small laugh from both of them.  
  
He leans back until he's lying down, and she follows suit. Reaching out, he points to a spot in the sky and traces out what looks like a squiggly bean to her eyes.  
  
"See that, Ar? That's Aquarius, the water-bearer. Smack dab in the sea of the sky. Fef's favorite constellation, 'cause for some reason she couldn't get enough of water down here on earth. Ironic part is, that bright star right there? Sadalsuud; its name means 'luckiest of the lucky'. Guess that luck wasn't meant for me or you, huh."  
  
She takes her arm and phases it through his, until they're completely overlapping and she's pointing to the same star he is. It's bright enough to see, so why didn't it shine down on them when they needed it most? Why wasn't she lucky enough not to die? Why wasn't Eridan lucky enough not to lose his love? In her short life as a ghost, Aradia's only ever received more and more questions, and close to zero answers. But now, it seems like the light of luck has finally reached them, and tomorrow, perhaps everything will be revealed.  
  
However, a ghost that has its answers has no reason to stay on the mortal plane, and after today, she's not sure she's quite ready to leave her new friend behind yet. Not like he is now. So she lowers her hand and turns to face him.  
  
"Tell me about her. I want to know everything."  
  
He looks startled by her request. "Who, Fef?"  
  
"Yeah. Tell me why you loved her. And all the little things she did that you hated. And how you met. Everything." If she can make him remember everything in perspective, maybe he'll stop thinking of Feferi as someone he lost, but as someone he's happy to have loved. And maybe she'll vicariously remember what it feels like to love as well.  
  
"Okay, well, there's a lot to tell, so I might as well go from the beginning." He clears and throat and waves his arm in an arc through the air, as if to clear the slate of the sky. When he starts speaking, there's a unfamiliar, dreamy quality to his voice that reminds Aradia of a warmth she can no longer feel.  
  
"Twenty years ago, I moved to this tiny town here with my mother, after she an' my father divorced. And when we got to the house, there Fef was, standin' across the street..."


End file.
